It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), grunting and pounding his chest with the free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom, and play along. She does and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall, she does, and Mr. Gorilla is just about to tear the bars down. "Now try lifting your dress up your thighs" ... this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy. Then, quickly the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and says, "Now, tell HIM you have a headache."
1/21/08
The Shop's Joke of the day
Massiv so you wanna be gangsta!!
German hip-hop star MASSIV has been accused of staging a street shooting in a bid to boost album sales.
The gangster rapper was strolling the streets of tough Berlin neighbourhood Neukolln when a man pulled up and fired four bullets at Massiv, one passing straight through his right shoulder, according to a statement released by his record label No Limits Music.
A spokesman added, "Massiv is totally shocked. He lost a lot of blood and was near death." However, police have cast doubt on the scale of the incident - while they accept bullets were fired, they describe Massiv's injury as a mere graze to the skin. Cops are also flummoxed by reports of his brush with death, which began to appear on Massiv's website just minutes after the attack.
A police spokesman says, "Several shots are supposed to have been fired at the singer from close range, so we are rather surprised that only one bullet grazed his arm. However, there is no doubt that there was an incident." Massiv has vehemently denied allegations the incident was a publicity stunt to promote his new album One Man One Word, due out next month (Feb08).
1/20/08
Charity Wants Vick House For Animal Shelter
ATLANTA -- A Texas group wants to buy the house that headquartered Michael Vick's dogfighting operation and turn it into an animal shelter.
Calling themselves the Vick House Project, the group is raising money on line for the purchase of the house in Surry County, Va. At thevickhouse.org they claim they have $11,387 in donations.
"It is a chance for animal lovers to contribute to a noble cause. It is a chance to create a happy final chapter to a sordid and tragic tale," according to the introduction on the web site.
The current owner of the property in rural southeastern Virginia, real estate developer Wilbur Ray Todd Jr., rejected a final bid of $747,000, the assessed value of the property at 1915 Moonlight Road during an auction in December.
Todd said it would cost about $1 million to build a similar house on 15 acres.
The charity group said that if they can raise enough money to buy the house they will ask the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) for help running the proposed animal shelter.
If they fail to raise the cash for the purchase they will turn over all donations to the ASPCA, the group promised.
Vick, the suspended Atlanta Falcons quarterback, is serving a 23-month sentence for a dogfighting conspiracy. Vick and three co-defendants raised pit bulls and trained them for fighting in the rugged wooded area behind a 4,600-square-foot white brick house.
Vick paid about $34,000 for the tract in 2002 and had the house built. Behind the house and a full-size basketball court, partly obscured by a fence, are four outbuildings and dozens of dog cages.
Vick sold the property for $450,000 to Todd, who spent an additional $50,000 fixing up the place, which had been trashed by burglars and looters.
"By the time you pay a commission and taxes, it gets eaten up real quick," Todd said to explain why the nearly $250,000 he would have made from auction's final bid was not enough.
The house has two master suites and a media room with wet bar. A double-sided gas fireplace separates the bathroom from the bedroom in the upstairs master suite.
Other amenities include jetted tubs, freshly refinished hardwood floors, a two-car garage and an expansive kitchen with center island, granite countertops and built-in stainless steel appliances.
Patriots are perfectly super
Tom Brady struggles against the Chargers, but gets the Patriots back to the Super Bowl.
Roy Jones win by Unanimous decision
Boxing stars Felix Trinidad and Roy Jones Jr. went toe-to-toe at Madison Square Garden.
1/19/08
Scope watch nices!!
I'm a big fan of crazy watches, especially ones that provide a little challenge in terms of telling time. The futuristic-looking Scope watch from Japan features a scanner that homes in on the correct time--the vertical line represents the hour, the horizontal line the minutes in increments of five. In order to figure out the exact minutes, you then have to add the number of red LEDs that are lit up on the right. So, for instance, if the intersecting lines indicate that it's 5:35, and four LEDs are lit up, then the time is really 5:39. Cool. Tells time and doubles as a math aid to boot.
What a FAN!!
So Katt Williams performed at South Beach’s Comedy Fest Thusday night.
"by the way she's buggin''
1/18/08
Sh*t Johnny
Even with a busy squedule (photo shoots, video shoots, flying around the world) Johnny Cake still finds time to sh*t on Nigg*s. LOL!!
Steve Harvey with a baldy LOL!
In this image released by JET Magazine, comedian and actor Steve Harvey is shown. In a dramatic change that might surprise fans, the comedy and radio king, who turns 51 on Thursday, Jan. 17, 2008, shaved his head and started looking at his life in a different way. Harvey says he was inspired to change how people view men in their 50s after talking to one of his listeners. Harvey reveals his new look on stands nationwide on Monday, Jan. 21.
Chess master Bobby Fischer dead at 64
Fischer died Thursday of kidney failure in Reykjavik after a long illness, friend and spokesman Gardar Sverrisson said Friday.
Chicago-born and Brooklyn-bred, Fischer moved to Iceland in 2005 in a bid to avoid extradition to the U.S., where he was wanted for playing a 1992 match in Yugoslavia in defiance of international sanctions.
At his peak, Fischer was a figure of mystery and glamour who drew millions of new fans to chess.
1/17/08
RELAX MANN!!
(Hoverit Lounger: Relaxation through Levitation)
The latest in relaxation technology comes to us from British company Hoverit in the form of a handmade acrylic lounger that can hover in mid air. As you might have guessed, the gravity defying aspects of the chair derive from repelling magnetic forces in both the bed and base. Hoverit also suggests that the magnetic forces can "help back, muscular problems and headaches" in addition to delivering a relaxing sensation akin to floating on air.
TINY with a BANG!!
I don't know what type of beef TI had but if he would of got caught with this gun i think he would of been good...you know what? I don't think they would've found it...LOL!!
Nice PHONE!!
GoldVish Le Million phone is the most expensive in the world–1 million euros, or about $1.3 million,accordind the Guiness Books of Records. This device is made out of 18-carat white gold and features 1,800 diamonds totaling 120 carats. Geneva-based Goldvish also offer several other models with gold plating and diamond-studded cases.
The Shop's Joke of the day
A guy's on the electric chair. The warden's just about to pull the switch when the guy gets the hiccups. The warden says, "Do you have any last requests?" The guy says, "(hic) Yeah... (hic) could you please do (hic) could you please do something to scare me?"
Round Two:
A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friends with him. While he's talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off. As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandmother, "Thanks for the peanuts." She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off 'em."
Round Two:
A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friends with him. While he's talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off. As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandmother, "Thanks for the peanuts." She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off 'em."
1/16/08
The Mac Daddy
Amazingly thin. Amazingly full-size.
The thinness of MacBook Air is stirring. But perhaps more impressive, there’s a full-size notebook encased in the 0.16 to 0.76 inch of sleek, sturdy anodized aluminum. And at just 3.0 pounds,1 MacBook Air is more than portable — it’s with you everywhere you go.
Scott Storch going BROKE??? WOW!!
Scott Storch is apparently better at making beats than child support payments.
According to TMZ, the successful rap producer is behind on his monthly support payment for his child, Jalen, who will be 2 in April.
Dalene Daniel has filed a legal motion claiming that Storch is behind on this month's and last month's $7,500 payment, is "habitually late" in paying child support, and has bounced checks
The $7,500 payment may seem like a hefty amount, but it's measly compared to Storch's estimated income, which Forbes placed at $17 million for 2006, or $1.4 million a month.
Despite his substantial income, Storch is reportedly behind on more than just child support. According to a recent story in The New York Post, Storch owes $435,602 in back taxes on his house in Miami. He also never paid for a $7,500 painting he had on display in his home, prompting the Miami gallery owner to pay Storch a visit and reclaim the art.
At press time, Strorch has not commented on his financial situation.
1/15/08
The Shop's Joke of the day
A man goes into the doctor and asks for a few Viagra. The doctor says, "Sure, how many do you want?"
The man says, "Four, but cut them in half."
The doctor replies, "Cut them in half? why?"
The man explains, "i don't need them for sex, I need them so it will stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes..."
The man says, "Four, but cut them in half."
The doctor replies, "Cut them in half? why?"
The man explains, "i don't need them for sex, I need them so it will stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes..."
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